Monday, August 5, 2019

Mai Lin vs. Serena (1982)

"Jade, have you ever had your pussy eaten in a bar?"

Oh, where to even begin? Carlos Tobalina (his first appearance on-screen during The Great Tobalina Rewatch) is making a movie and wants the hottest girl in adult cinema as his star, but he cannot choose between Serena and Mai Lin. The two ladies take matters into their own hands by wagering the film role and salary (an improbable $25,000!) in a contest of who is the hottest girl around. And so it begins!

I'm sure Carlos was thinking of prizefights like Ali vs. Frazier in conjuring this title, but in practice, it reminds me more of those Japanese monster movies I used to watch religiously. The only real difference between this and something like GODZILLA VS. MEGALON or GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER is the costuming of the main characters and the kind of mayhem they cause. I'm sure this is a comparison none of you were expecting.

Anyway, Mai Lin and Serena go on a wanton spree of fucking pretty much anyone they come across. Along the way, we are treated to such Tobalina standards as the sped-up scene, cop hate/humiliation, the "guy gets hit by his buddy's cumshot" gag, and of course, the bathtub/bukkake/gangbang sequence. Carlos loved his bathtubs, and I don't know if "bukkake" existed in American porn other than Tobalina films at the time. It's the antithesis of romance, but an example of how Carlos was (gulp) maybe ahead of the curve.

This movie is one of the more infamous Tobalina films because of how successful it was. It's utterly mental, too. My personal favorite sequence is the carnal cavorting in a bar, where the antics are offset by the creaking of a bar table. "Are they going to break it?" I wondered. No, but only because the guy playing the bartender (another Carlos relative/hanger-on, I believe) moves it out of the scene before they do. Between this and the hitting of heads on bar signs and chandeliers, it's clear Carlos left the blocking of his scenes to the talent as they went along. It explains so much.

Truly, this lives up to its rep as a Tobalina Anti-Classic. Watch it with someone you love. I can't guarantee they will still speak to you afterward.

For reference:

IMDB page

IAFD page

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